Imposters: Character Lies and Character Truths
The way one of our members describes impostors or character lies is like going to the fair and looking at yourself in all the weird distorted mirrors. We all of a sudden see ourselves as abnormally thin and tall, or wide and short. Maybe our face is even distorted and no longer symmetrical. The truth is, we aren’t who or what our imposters say we are. Society and our upbringings and perceptions have often trained us to see life and ourselves in a distorted view. When we unpack these distortions, we can see them for what they really are: distortions. And we can see ourselves for who we truly are. Children of God. We learn how to unpack and work through these distortions, by gaining awareness, acceptance, and then action. We change our old behavior and thinking to align with God and reality. We literally rewire our brains. That’s the beauty of neuroplasticity. We aren’t stuck with what we have, or with what we were born with.
Character lies are a lens we have looked at life through. Until someone challenges us we think that this perscpription is reality. These character lies are often also our strengths and they are so out of balance they have become our weakness.
A few character lies are: Controller/manager/mother, victim/mayrter, Deiner/ostrich, advice seeker to name a few.
Let’s take one of them for an example:
Advice seeking: Advice seeking is going to anyone and everyone and asking them for their opinion. Really, you are asking them how to live your life. An advice seeker takes any person’s suggestion at face value; allowing it to carry the same weight as a trusted friend, sponsor, spiritual director, or spouse. (Like the 4 quarters and 100 pennies. Or the inner circle outer circle exercise.) The Bible does say we should teach and admonish one another. It also says not everyone is meant to be a teacher or has the gifts of discernment, wisdom, knowledge, or understanding. We need to choose wisely who we trust, and ask for advice. The other caveat of an advice seeker is they may ask someone for their opinion without taking the responsibility to discern it for themselves. Unconsciously, the deal they are making is, “If this choice doesn’t work out I have someone else to blame.” When in reality, no-one belongs on this kind of pedestal or wants to be up there. If you live your life this way, It’s only a matter of time before all of these people will disappoint you.”
I think the above paragraph had plenty of examples.
Combat Advice seeking with:
- Is this person a “trusted friend?”
- Are they in my inner circle?
- Are they a four-quarter or one-hundred pennies?
- Am I trying to saddle someone else with a decision for fear of making the wrong decision?
- Am I trying to saddle someone else with a decision so I don’t have to do it myself?
- Am I wanting to have someone else to blame if the decision I make doesn’t go well?
Strengths of the Advice seeker: They seek counsel. When they know who their four quarters are, they don’t rely on a dollar bill (One person) or one hundred pennies (anyone and everyone). They make lots of sound decisions in their life because they are humble enough to be guided and counseled by others who are wiser and more mature than they are. Bring it to God. Let him show you three different ways.
If you would like to learn more about character truths and lies and which ones might be taking an active role in your life causing you to feel like you are seeing life 20/20 when in fact you might be seeing 40/20 come check out our community and attend one of our meetings. You never know. It might just give you the clarity you are looking for!
