🌱 The Power of Peace in the Workplace: Lessons from the Frontlines of Growth
Detaching with Love
I absolutely love the work we do here at ERSM. Every day brings new opportunities to witness healing, restoration, and growth—and today was no different.
I sat down with one of our disciplers who shared a powerful story about her transformation in the workplace. Just a month ago, she was regularly calling to vent about the chaos around her. But lately, she’s been practicing a concept we teach called “detaching with love.” She’s begun identifying what is in her “hula hoop” and what isn’t—an image we use to represent our circle of responsibility.
When her boss assigns her a task and then proceeds to do it himself, she no longer spirals into frustration, self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy. Instead, she responds with peace and grace, saying:
“Not my horse, not my race, not my ride.”
That phrase is more than just witty—it’s freeing. Instead of swirling in what we lovingly refer to as “crazy brain” or rumination (“If only I had done this… if only I were better at that…”), she chooses to stay grounded in truth. And here’s the truth:
Our worth is not defined by someone else’s behavior.
Sometimes we work with difficult people—people operating from a place of unhealed woundedness, unaware of how their actions affect others.
🧠My Own Leadership Journey: Learning the Hard Way
I’ll admit it—I’ve been guilty of this, too. I used to assign tasks only to jump in and do them myself, thinking I was being helpful. I now know that’s not helpful; it’s confusing, frustrating, and disempowering.
There’s actually a name for this: double-headed management.
That’s when someone’s given a responsibility but not the authority or autonomy to carry it out. Maybe key details are missing, or there’s no room to make decisions. It often shows up as micromanagement:
“You can do this—but only if you do it exactly how I would.”
And we’re not talking about heart surgery here.
I’ve watched sponsees tasked with organizing an event, only to have the event theme or core plans changed midway through. While occasional shifts are understandable, frequent changes erode morale. It’s draining to work in environments lacking clarity and consistency.
I’ve made those mistakes too. Once, I spent a weekend reorganizing the office, imagining staff would be delighted. Instead, I was met with resistance—and they were right to feel unsettled. Surprise overhauls don’t build trust.
Twenty years later, I’ve learned: meaningful change requires communication.
đź’ˇ What I Know Now: Empowerment Over Control
These days, I’ve traded quick fixes for brainstorming sessions and problem-solving meetings. I used to think every idea needed immediate action. Now I know that for any organization to thrive, strategic planning is essential.
I’ve probably been difficult to work for in the past. But today, our team honors each other’s strengths and supports one another in areas of weakness. I’m not the best planner—and I’m okay with that. I lean on teammates who excel in that area, and I’m deeply grateful for their brilliance.
What’s more, we don’t operate in isolation. Tasks are delegated clearly—with outlined expectations—while still leaving room for creativity and autonomy.
🙌 Leadership That Heals, From the Top Down
Every workplace has its challenges. But growth happens when we commit to personal development and leadership rooted in service.
Servant leadership must come from the top.
Those lower down in an organization can only do so much to drive change if higher-ups aren’t on board.
At ERSM, we’re committed to creating an environment where peace, clarity, and mutual respect thrive—and where healing isn’t just a mission but a way of leading.
đź’¬ Join the Conversation
We believe healing and growth happen best in community. If this story resonates with you, we’d love to hear how you’ve navigated leadership challenges, workplace dynamics, or personal transformation.Join our ERSM community and attend a meeting.
Share your journey, learn from others, and be part of something that’s restoring hearts and empowering lives. Your story matters—let it be a light for someone else.
