“DEFENSE! OFFENSE!”
How can these football words help in times of discouragement?
Typically, St. Ignatius’s rules for “Discernment of Spirits” are applied solely to spiritual ups and downs. However, like Bill W., founder of AA, I, too, have found the rules helpful when applied to mental/emotional health. In previous articles, we’ve covered St Ignatius’ first three rules. In this article, we are going to focus on the rules that apply to times of desolation or feeling down. Let’s get started!
When feeling discouraged, disheartened, tempted, or discontent our first thought should be AWARENESS (Rule 4): precisely name our feelings. By naming them, it causes them to lose power. It can be helpful to use a feelings wheel or feelings chart to precisely name feelings.
Rule 5 tells us, “Think DEFENSE”– I’m under attack, and I need to capture my negative thoughts. I need to stand strong! Stick to my original mental health routine. Never make a change during desolation! Don’t RETREAT!
A good mental health routine might look like this:
– Premeditate the night before how I will handle difficult situations tomorrow.
– Stop and examine morning, noon, and night.
– Call a wise friend, seek wisdom and counsel.
– Read or listen to mental health truths such as podcasts by Dr. Bob Schultz or Sr. Miriam.
Then I “Think OFFENSE” (Rule 6). When under attack, attack back. I use these four mental health weapons of self-defense.
- Pray. Invite God into the situation: Read scripture about your identity and authority in Christ.
- Discern where the negativity started
- Reflect:
– What am I feeling and why?
– What is the truth, and what is the lie? What story am I telling myself?
– Rebuke the lies.
– Is it mine to worry about? (Or am I trying to control someone else’s life?)
– What false judgments have I made?
– What are my choices?
- Penance, fast
I then use Rule 7 and Think – God’s grace is sufficient. I remind myself it’s only a test! Or a FOG (“Fun” Opportunity to Grow). God hasn’t really left me to my own vices. He’s watching behind the veil, preparing me, His warrior, for battle. Next, I apply Rule 8 and I THINK these two thoughts:
- This storm (desolation) shall pass soon.
- Consolation (sunny days) will come soon.
For example, if my boss says he needs to speak with me Monday, instead of assuming the worst, I can assume the best. I can also use it as a time to reflect on how I have really been doing at work. I make note of my wins, and the areas I’m slipping in, such as taking extra-long breaks. It’s an opportunity to grow, not beat myself up. I make things right with myself, God, and the company by no longer taking extra-long breaks. I also use this as a time to reflect on the good I am doing. If there is something I need to confess, I take it to confession. Then I’m ready to start anew and be at peace. I move on. Life is short; we can only live it forward.
I then use Rule 9 to examine how I got here. There are three causes for storms/desolation:
- Neglecting mental/ emotional health – Like anything in life, we are either improving or going backward. Health of any kind is a moving target. The fruit that can come from staying on top of mental health is maturity and conversion. Did you know we can only become as spiritually mature as we are mentally/emotionally mature?
- Testing – We all experience testing of our character. If we cooperate with the Holy Spirit, we can bear abundant fruit in our lives and become a beacon of hope.
- Increase gratitude – Storms help us appreciate good times and to know sunny days/consolations are gifts. We can’t appreciate the sun without rain, day without night. It’s a good reminder that we don’t control all the blessings in our life. Fruit that comes is the gift of humility and gratitude.
Finally, Rules 12 through 14, help me fight through the darkness and prevent it in the future. Rule 12 reminds me to stop the snowball of negative banter at the top of the mountain. Don’t give it a foothold. If I am ruminating, resenting, or resisting, I need to forgive or take appropriate action. Rule 13 tells me to NEVER keep a secret! Our wounds and negative thoughts thrive in darkness. We are only as sick as our deepest secrets. Tell a wise friend, spiritual director, or priest. Finally, Rule 14 says to know your weakest link. When and where are you most likely to fall into negative thinking? After spending time with a certain friend or family member, listening to certain music or media? After ruminating on old resentments? Whatever the cause, put protective measures in place. Sometimes our friend circles, our habits, or our hang-out places need to change.
